Along the path of neutral, over tiny bumps of pleasure and little potholes of sorrow, I walk. Occasionally, I climb over the hillocks of triumph and often fall into pits of failure; the pits so deep.
Down in the ditch I sit and wait disheartened, dejected and depressed. My shriveled soul sits and mourns. Yet, I don’t call for help. I believe that nothing in this world can make me feel better again. With my mind still debating over the existence and non-existence of God; I have lost faith in the system. I have certainly lost faith in myself.
I look up at the opening; the opening I conveniently ignored; the opening I was pushed into by circumstances. Yes, blame it on the circumstances. People peep into the ditch. Some with a smirk on their faces, some expressionless, some laugh, happy with themselves or are they laughing at me?
Deep down there I lie wishing the world’s gazes don’t set me ablaze. “I don’t need sympathy”- I assure myself. I want the world to end. The base keeps eroding. The pit gets deeper and deeper. I wait, soaked in a pool of tears for someone, something to somehow get me out. I wait. I mourn.
When failure pinches hard, I just- Fail!
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Monday, August 4, 2008
BONDING WITH FRIENDS
It’s interesting how friends bond over a gulp of water left in one friend’s gym bag, some chewing gum flicked from another friend’s left pocket, and some utterly useless conversations like- “Who was which animal in their past life.”
You laugh. You laugh so hard that your eyeballs pop out. Then follows a silence, just enough to fill your lungs with some air before you burst into another riot of laughter.
It’s amusing to know that everyone is as bored as you are on a particular day. That is enough reason to meet up. So, you shamelessly invite yourselves to your friend’s place. Each one grabs a corner, wriggles into their comfort zones while the host tries hard to make some place for himself.
You warm your seats for hours together, refusing to lift a finger, avoiding visits to the loo lest your seat be taken. Here, you spend time observing each other’s physical attributes and ‘vital stats’ is not one of them. So, you sit and count the number of pimples on one friend’s face, note the receding hairline of another friend. Right from who has more hair on their legs to who’s got a bigger paunch, from the smallest butt to the loudest fart, it has all been carefully observed and discussed in detail.
Birthdays play a very important role in friendship because here you bond over cakes. Delicious cakes!
Well, it’s about to hit 12:00 am in another ten minutes but you don’t care. The Jing-Bang turns up at the birthday boy’s place at 1:00 am without a cake, as usual. Since, he knows that it is foolish to expect cake and presents, he buys one himself. He opens the cake box then goes in to fetch a knife and candle. When he returns, the cherries are gone, the chocolate flakes have disappeared and someone’s already tasted the cream. He doesn’t bother. He just lights the candle. The lights are switched off. One friend blows the candle, the other cuts the cake while the birthday boy claps his hands and sings the birthday song. Yes, that evening he gives you a treat too.
The late nights that involve lighting candles in the church, celebrating every party like it’s new years, long drives, mid-night ice-creams, watching movies up to 3:00 am and later caring to play stupid board games. Thanks to Maggi noodles, quick and filling, for keeping you alive through these nights.
Cheers!
P.S: This one is dedicated to apna building ka public with a lot of love.
You laugh. You laugh so hard that your eyeballs pop out. Then follows a silence, just enough to fill your lungs with some air before you burst into another riot of laughter.
It’s amusing to know that everyone is as bored as you are on a particular day. That is enough reason to meet up. So, you shamelessly invite yourselves to your friend’s place. Each one grabs a corner, wriggles into their comfort zones while the host tries hard to make some place for himself.
You warm your seats for hours together, refusing to lift a finger, avoiding visits to the loo lest your seat be taken. Here, you spend time observing each other’s physical attributes and ‘vital stats’ is not one of them. So, you sit and count the number of pimples on one friend’s face, note the receding hairline of another friend. Right from who has more hair on their legs to who’s got a bigger paunch, from the smallest butt to the loudest fart, it has all been carefully observed and discussed in detail.
Birthdays play a very important role in friendship because here you bond over cakes. Delicious cakes!
Well, it’s about to hit 12:00 am in another ten minutes but you don’t care. The Jing-Bang turns up at the birthday boy’s place at 1:00 am without a cake, as usual. Since, he knows that it is foolish to expect cake and presents, he buys one himself. He opens the cake box then goes in to fetch a knife and candle. When he returns, the cherries are gone, the chocolate flakes have disappeared and someone’s already tasted the cream. He doesn’t bother. He just lights the candle. The lights are switched off. One friend blows the candle, the other cuts the cake while the birthday boy claps his hands and sings the birthday song. Yes, that evening he gives you a treat too.
The late nights that involve lighting candles in the church, celebrating every party like it’s new years, long drives, mid-night ice-creams, watching movies up to 3:00 am and later caring to play stupid board games. Thanks to Maggi noodles, quick and filling, for keeping you alive through these nights.
Cheers!
P.S: This one is dedicated to apna building ka public with a lot of love.
FLYING HIGH
High on four bottles of beer or riding high on winning the much coveted trophy of the season; I plunge into minutes of eternal bliss .I am surrounded by amplified sounds, magnified pictures, eye-stinging bright colours and the yelp of joy which resonates throughout my body. I turn deaf, dumb and blind. Flying high, so high, I don’t see the ground. The existence or non- existence of my roots don’t bother me.
High on the gazes that follow me along the street! Good or Bad. High on hope! High on the music, that transforms my mind while my soul undergoes metamorphosis. High on food that mesmerizes me with its smell and captures my taste buds with its flavour. Intoxicated by the scent of the flowers and the sight of the butterflies, who seem equally intoxicated!
High on the praises thrown at me from all directions! High on all the smiles I receive for being what I am. High on the prayers I offer, for myself and the world around me. High on meditation!
High on top of a mountain where I interact with the clouds, rains and hailstorms! Sitting high on top of heaps of cash and gold!
High on positive vibes generated by my team-mates seconds before a match! High on negativity generated by my addicted peers!
High on life!
High on the gazes that follow me along the street! Good or Bad. High on hope! High on the music, that transforms my mind while my soul undergoes metamorphosis. High on food that mesmerizes me with its smell and captures my taste buds with its flavour. Intoxicated by the scent of the flowers and the sight of the butterflies, who seem equally intoxicated!
High on the praises thrown at me from all directions! High on all the smiles I receive for being what I am. High on the prayers I offer, for myself and the world around me. High on meditation!
High on top of a mountain where I interact with the clouds, rains and hailstorms! Sitting high on top of heaps of cash and gold!
High on positive vibes generated by my team-mates seconds before a match! High on negativity generated by my addicted peers!
High on life!
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