Caught The Bluff

The women around me haven’t turned any whiter, their hair any silkier, their skin any more glossy, their pimples any less ugly, their teeth (fortunately) don’t project light and well the bad news is – their underarms still smell!

The same applies to the men; the bad news being - flocks of women aren’t running after them, probably because of the non-AXEistent... oops non-existent effect; the good news being – “Since the women haven’t gotten any prettier anyway, why have them run after us?!”

The kids haven’t grown any taller, stronger and definitely not any sharper. Since ’Daag achhe hain’ my neighbours have stopped trying to get the stains off their kids’ clothes; all they do is dip the clothes in a bucket of water, add some detergent and then pray.

The other kids are too busy feeding crocodiles chocolates, in search of a new pet, to really bother about clothes.

I still see crowfeet, dark circles and a few new lines here and there on the exploited faces of the 40 pluses. No amount of colouring can hide their gray roots.

Irrespective of what age group you belong to, if you own a mobile and have tried the ‘Walk while you Talk’ mantra you have obviously experienced this- ‘Irrespective of whether the network follows or not, the dogs will always follow you!’

Sojourn 09

Sojourn ’09…

That some are liars does not surprise me; it is how often and easily they lie that does.
That some are cheaters does not alarm me; it is how tactfully and efficiently they cheat that is alarming.

I have organized a number of events earlier, small ones though, but Sojourn has been the most interesting. The best part about it was interacting with so many people, the honest ones, the bossy ones, the big mouths, the cheats, the most dependable, the unreliable, the scared, the fearless and ones who pop out of nowhere to help you out.


I have always found people amusing. (That should explain why I am mute… just can’t get my eyes off them!) Sojourn served as a platform for me to interact with a numerous people (can still hear my phone ring). Here, I couldn’t afford to keep quiet. I had to make sure I was listening keenly and also make sure that I was being heard.

Unfortunately for us, we were greeted by an Anti-Council undercurrent which did retard our growth to some extent. We had a lot of ‘connecting the dots’ to do before forming the complete picture.


People O’ People


I came across the lazy ones who need to be kicked to get work done. I came across the lazy ones who love to kick the other lazy ones to get some work done.

Some liked to be directed. Some found their way out. Some took ages to get the work done. Some dedicated ones did the work right away. Some didn’t work.

Like every organization there were a few who were victims of favouritism and partiality.

Then, I came across the ones who love to teach, and more often, across the ones who love to preach.

I bumped into the drama queens off n’ on, and the ones who lie through their teeth, and also the “I think it should be like this...” kinds.

The funny ones were those who, so obviously lacked wit, had nothing but abuses in their defense, no matter what the argument. Favourite one” This is Bullshit!” (Glad you can distinguish between horseshit and bullshit.)

I say:” Shove the bullshit up your ass Sweety that should ensure you shut up and behave!”

A handful of people wasted their time telling me how they’d love to help me out with the stuff and all the new things they’ve been thinking of implementing. My reaction:” Stop talking!”As expected, they didn’t lift a finger.

The most annoying was the lot which was scared to experiment, try something new and unusual. They inevitably chose to tread the beaten track and ruined the excitement, for me at least.

You know what the worst part about being on a post like this is? It is when a ‘good for nothing’ tells you that your opinion doesn’t matter.

I say:” I didn’t slog my ass off for some God forsaken entity, who surprisingly has the audacity, to tell me that my opinion doesn’t matter!”


Ex Council Members


When I say lack of experimentation this is what I mean-
Ex: We did it like this and this is how it is supposed to be done.
Current: This is how they did it so we should do it like this.

Worst part, Ex coming and telling you “I’ve been there, done that, and this is not how it is done.”

I say:” You did it your way. Now I do it mine.”

Guys, suggestions are always accepted and considered. Please, keep the sermons to yourselves.

Very few Exs knew what they were talking and could really direct us. Sincere thanks to them for their guidance.


BE (Final Year Students)


Just a handful of irrational, moody, interfering and selfish BEs is more than sufficient to agitate the remaining BEs and give you a tough time. Inspite of being in the last year myself, I conclude that we BEs have the least regard for time, consideration for our juniors and least amount of respect for the ones who strive hard to put an act together.

With their ‘Chalega’ attitude, their ‘adult arrogance’ and their egos riding high on seniority- “How dare you talk to your seniors like that?” Typical! Poor juniors!

Then I discovered a few extremely talented BEs who didn’t mind sharing some wisdom with their juniors. They also went ahead and trained them. We also had a few surprise packages and splendid performances.

It is weird, this junior-senior drama. Our BEs made sure that their performances were BE dominated but at the end of the day, our talented pass-outs seem to have got caught in the rut of ‘Self Promotion’.

I failed at this point. I tried to create opportunity for the students of the college to whom the show belongs, but the Alumni - ones who have been there, done that, managed to trickle in (no prizes for guessing how) depriving the fresh talent.


Audience


One word- ROCKED!!


Lesson


The one lesson I learnt from all of this-I learnt to TRUST.I talked about those unreliable personalities, remember? Well if you are in a fix and have assigned them a job,

TRUST them – they’ll leave it undone!


Overused word: Bullshit
Underused word: Thanks
Never used: Sorry

To hell with everything that went wrong.

Million thanks to everything that went right.


Thank you

This goes out to-The people who were at the right place at the right time doing the right thing.

The ones who did not have the guts to speak up when circumstances were being unfair yet stood by my side in silent support. Believe me that helped!

This one goes out to everybody who tried to ruin it for us-
F***K YOU!!!

CHARACTERLESS?

She wants to be used. She asks for it. We use her. We throw her. It doesn’t make a difference to her. She is characterless. Now if somebody, so readily, displays their desire to be used; why would we hesitate? She likes it and we don’t mind it. There is no guilt involved ‘cause we are giving the woman what she wants. We don’t treat good girls from good families like this. We don’t talk about our female friends like this. We respect respectable women.

That’s a man talking.

Most women would agree with the men in this respect. She is a shameless woman, she deserves it. Alright, maybe she does, maybe she doesn’t; but that’s not the point.

The fact that a woman wants to be used, talks about her character. Whether or not you use her, talks about your character!

Like my father asked me once- “You see the door. You see the keyhole. Would you look through it or would you walk away?” It tells you how the magnitude of self control defines your character.

Well, another question that is asked often is- “If you saw a Rs.100 note on the road, would you pick it up?”
Some would pick it up- Why not?
Some would pick it up and leave it in a temple- Fair enough.
Some would just leave it there- Not mine!

When it comes to treating women, or people in general, most of us would use them.
Extremely rare but not an impossible scenario where some great fellow would go out of his way to lead her to the right path.
Leaving her there, letting her be what she wants to be and respecting her just like he respects other women in his life; now that’s a Man!

Those Boring Days

You know, those days, when you are seriously bored and you don’t want to go out with friends, no matter how much they force you to? You sit back and think -"Aah same old stuff, meet up, go to the restaurant, pounce on your food, get a little tipsy, same old gossip ;what fun? Aah not fun!" Yes, that’s the very day they have a wonderful time! And yes, without you!

You sit at home and flip the pages of your book. You are planning to study. You stare at your book and guess what, the book stares back at you. Still wondering, "I guess I did the right thing. I have to study. Got to work on my project, my assignments…Oh I should have attended the party! No…no…I didn’t really feel like going! Hell! They must be having a nice time! Or may be not? Same old stuff…grr concentrate!"

"I don’t wanna come cause I am bored." -what kind of an excuse is that? Study or no study, at one point you were wishing that they gave you just one last call and that’s it, you’d throw your boredom away. You’d rather get bored with your friends.

Next day you discover they’ve had a ball! Makes you sick in the stomach! Yet when they ask, "Why didn’t you come? It was so much fun." You say, "I didn’t feel like it!"
"I missed it! Big Deal! I wouldn’t have enjoyed anyway!" Oh alright, saying that just makes you feel better!

Then there are those days when you are bored. Again! You give your cell phone those intense looks and go- "Call me damn it!" ; and not a purr!